Yeah It's May!

Noah is now 11 months old

Our Day trip To Sesame Place

Happy easter Noah

Happy Easter Lillie!

Ican hardly beleive may is here. The year is flying by and I feel like I missed ALOT of it. I mean of course I have been here the entire time but I have been living in a kind of fog lately and not really seeing all that is happening around me. Our children have been growing and doing so many things. Easter was wonderful for our family. We had a new perspective this year and really focused more on Jesus and how he died on the cross for our sins. We are so thabkful for what he did for our family and everyone else.

I went to my first Woman's retreat on Saturday. I met Zoe Elmore who is a Proverbs 31 speaker. She was amazing. She spoke about how we can become better women of faith and gave several tips to do so. It was great because she even chose to sat at my table for lunch. I felt so lucky! At the end we each had an opportunity to leave something at the cross. It was a way to symbolically turn a pain or concern over to Jesus and show him its a burden we cannot handle and that we need to trust in God and God alone. I left my marriage there. I will continue to work on it and do all I can but I am letting God know I need his help and I realize this is more than I can handle. I beleive if its his will he will heal our marriage and my husband. Dave has learned alot in the past 6 months as he has tried to uncover exactly what happened in his heart these many years. We have 21 years so its not short or easy story but I can tell you that changes are happening and I am feeling encouraged.

While I was at the conference I was also rememering the day my son passed away 21 years ago. I still cannot beleive I would have a 21 year old son. I do miss him and have struggled for so long trying to make sense of his death. After my book came out a couple of years ago I thought I had analyzed and discovered all there was to know but I continue to learn more as time passes. I understand now how our children are really God's and we just get to care for them till he takes them back. I guess in other words my son was never "mine" to begin with. Of course I miss him but look what I have been blessed with...two adorable little ones.

Dave and I taught our last sign language class tonight at the school. It was alot of fun. We really do enjoy teaching sign together. We have also started a new song for the girls at church. Dave is on vacation this week and we will take a trip to the Poconos Thursday for my birthday. I am excited about a little getaway.