Log Ons and Such

I am so sorry I have not written for so long. I have had the worst time trying to remember my log on information. It seems these days I am having a tough time remembering anything. So much is happening this month too which makes it tough to keep track of it all.

This weekend is the Art Of Marriage at our church. Dave and I are attending as our Valentine gift to each other. It is alot like the Weekend To Remeber we attended in November. The main difference is this is video conferenced instead of a live speaker. I am really looking forward to it. At the weekend to remeber I had a great time but was in the dark about so much in our marriage. Now that I am in the light I will be taking everything in from a different perspective. I am hoping to get some new tools to give me hope to move forward with Dave. The past couple of months have not been easy. One day I think I can manage and we will be ok and the next I feel so hopeless. I have to keep looking to God because without him i can do nothing.

Lillie's birthday is just around the corner so we are strating some planning for her. She will be 7! She is getting to be such a big girl. I can barely beleive all that has happened in her short life already. She is so excited about her birthday and that her brother can share in it this year.

The Awana race is the same weekend as Lillie's b-day. She and I both have cars to race this year. I will post pics later. I am doing a Noahs Ark themed car and Lillie is doing a b-day cake theme. Mine is done and turned out pretty cute. Lillie's still needs alot of work.

Noah continues to grown and do well. he was sich with a cold and went to the doc last week. he is not on antibiotics. he has two teeth now and the third is on its way. he can crawl the entire length of the house and is starting to pull up on things. I am still managing to nurse him and he still wakes several times in a night. I am still tired alot!

Dave had hit three deers not too long ago but we were able to get the car fixed and it continues to get Dave to work each day. We are not sure how much longer it will go but we need at least another year out of it.

I am starting a musical program at church teaching tweens how to do ASL to some of the beautiful songs the congregation sings. We are now working on "The Power Of Your Love". It has been fun to get back to signing and doing it to praise the Lord. Signing put to music is so powerful and beautiful. It is also great to have someplace to put my focus.

Dave and i have talked alot oabout all that has hapapend in our marriage. Some days i am still in denial but for the most part have accpeted what has happened. It would be easy to walk away but I am trying to do what Christ would want and stay. Dave has God now in his heart and tells me he is a changed man. if he is being honest then the best is yet to come and the husband I always wanted. i would be stupid to walk away. At the same time if I stay and it happens again I would have invested in a lie and be worse off than now. The way I am trying to see it is that God gives us opportunities to be more Christ like. If we take them on and grow spiriualy we are better off no mater what happens in our life. However if we do not take them on we are exactly the same on the inside and the outside results do not really matter. This is not a natural way of thinking for me yet so it us a daily walk to trudge at times. Keep praying for me and my family. We need it!